I made myself throw up for about six months when I was 15. I was depressed, keeping in my tragedy of being raped and hating myself for thinking it was my fault. Along with all that other teenage angst and body hatred, let’s just say I was in dark place.
Having a support system was the most crucial part of stopping myself from going deeper on a dark path. It was also the most vulnerable part. But, thankfully, I was informed and afraid of the risks of bulimia so I eventually, in tears, told my high school boyfriend that I was making myself throw-up. He encouraged me to tell my mom and once I did she told me she loved me and set me up with a therapist.
[If you’re wondering how to support someone through an eating disorder, those are the basics: express your love and make the appointment for them to get professional medical help. If you’re unsure of what to do, ask your friend if you can ask someone for help or if they would be willing to talk a trusted someone who would know how to help.]
I thought having to stop throwing up would be the hardest part of it all. But, actually, the hardest part was dealing with why I was making myself vomit. It was, essentially, because I hated myself; I hated my body, what happened to me, the person who did it and the path I was on. I also had this secret that I so desperately needed to get out of me.
It took me a very long to grow in love with myself, like, about 10 years. Being open about being raped was just opening the door towards healing. I had to learn to believe in the truth that it was not my fault. I had to struggle with acceptance and forgiveness. It was a consistent yoga and gratitude practice, continual positive affirmations, reading, writing, living according to my truth, and eating healthier that helped me with all that. Those tools also helped me fall in love with my own body, mind, and soul.
I use those tools basically daily to keep myself grounded in love, gratitude and joy. Of course joy can fluctuate, but the underlying root of joy is contentment and that is something you can stand on.
As a holistic health coach, I work with women who struggle with anxiety or guilt around food or eating, negative self-esteem, extreme weight fluctuations, uncontrollable cravings, constant dieting with not results, a hard time finding or staying balanced and grounded or are confused about how to eat, live and exercise in a healthy way. Together we break down old, negative belief systems and habits around food, their bodies and their lives and replace it with a loving, healthy, trusting relationship.
I don’t treat eating disorders; I’m not a doctor and I encourage you to go see a medical professional if you are struggling with one. However, I can help you if you’ve recovered from an eating disorder – meaning you are no longer diagnosed with bulimia, anorexia, orthorexia, or any other eating disorder – but still need help, support or accountability navigating your way towards health.
I would love to be your partner and support on your journey towards a free, loving, confident and healthy self. If you want more information, if you are curious about what holistic health coaching is all about, if you want support and accountability or if you are ready to make some changes in your life, I’m here for you! Please contact with me at firstname.lastname@example.org with any questions or if want to reserve your free holistic health consultation.
Now, I’d love to hear from you! Is this something you can relate to? Have you battled with your body or recovered from an eating disorder? What has helped you?
Sending you love and support on your journey,